5 WAYS YOU CAN AND SHOULD ASK FOR HELP

Last month I had a nervous breakdown. Since I am the only adult in the house I had to work through it pretty quickly. I am blessed to have some support systems in place and some amazing people in my life who spoke hard truths to me in love. After reflecting on how I got to that place I had a pretty amazing breakthrough so obviously I had to come to the interwebs to share in hopes that this will help someone else.

Before I dive into the 5 ways you can (and should) ask for help – let’s discuss this topic. WE ALL NEED HELP! ALL OF US! ALL THE TIME! We are wired for community and connection so don’t begrudge someone else the opportunity to serve by carrying around all of your burdens until you stumble and fall under the weight. Speak up and ask for help. Receive. It’s ok. Trust me, there will come a time when you will be able to give back to someone else in need and the circle of giving and receiving will be complete. Most of us love to give – but in order to give there has to be a recipient. Don’t be afraid to be the recipient. Ok, let me climb off of my soapbox and move on. LOL 

I ain’t too proud to beg (who’s singing TLC or the Temptations with me right now?) for help. As a Navy wife who is far outnumbered by her children and as a teacher turned entrepreneur – I ask for help A LOT! What I finally realized about myself is that I ask for help a little too late…when I am already on the brink. I get the help and experience relief – start feeling better – and then I convince myself that I don’t need the help anymore- because I’m feeling better. And then I start slipping again and this has been my crazy cycle for years and years. This time I became aware of this cycle – because of those truth speakers I mentioned above – and because I am learning to observe myself and my emotions (meditation and mindfulness are helping with this). I usually have to hear things several times before they sink in and I have been hearing this message of creating a system of help and support from them, from books I’m reading, from the interwebs, and from the Bible. It’s everywhere and I love it! We are getting too stressed and too overwhelmed and tired is NOT the new sexy. So here are the 5 ways I am building in support for myself. Take them, leave them, substitute them but PLEASE create a way for you to receive help and support.

 Swallow your pride and ASK FOR HELP!

It may not be done as you would do it, but that’s ok. Release some of your expectations so you can have some rest OR so you can be more productive! The highest achievers in the world have a lot of help and support! That’s a fact!

Get Therapy, Counsel, Coaching, Support. STAT. WE ALL NEED HELP!

Find someone to help you with your mindset, someone that will equip you with new tools, a new perspective, a new skill set. Experts love to share – so ask for help – by doing so you will help THEM step into their purpose by being willing to listen and learn.

Budget for an extra set of hands.

Maybe this is a housekeeper, a nanny, a mother’s helper, an assistant, or even grocery delivery — I just did this for the first time in my life and I can tell you that it was the greatest gift I could give myself this week — and the extra tip I gave the delivery person was still cheaper than the extra food I throw into my cart when I am shopping (and the time I saved freed me up to spend the morning with a friend…win win!). If you really don’t have the money for any of the above reach out to some friends to swap babysitting, plan a meal prep gathering, create a carpool, etc.

Take Care Of Yourself

SELF CARE friends! It’s so important. You HAVE to keep your tank full. Some of my favorite ways are reading, taking baths, pedicures, time with a friend, sunshine, beach walks, massage, meditation, yoga, laying on my biomat, getting enough sleep, and going to Orangetheory at least once a week. There is no wrong way to practice self care…just make sure you are practicing it – and OFTEN!

Last but not least DO NO STOP OR SHUT DOWN YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM.

Be proactive. When you feel like you can handle it – don’t be fooled – you feel like you can handle it BECAUSE you are well supported. LOL!

Let’s #breakthestigma around mental health and model that we don’t have to have it all together all the time. Are you comfortable asking for help?