INTENTIONS VS. EXPECTATIONS

David was able to come home for about 36 hours before he heads back to his training on the east coast. Before he came home we had a conversation about NOT having any expectations for this quick visit and we instead created an intention for this quick but special time (thank you to my friend Heather Wood for introducing me to this many moons ago).   

First – let’s dive into the definition of these words: 

Intention: a persons design or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result. 

Expectation: a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. 

Do you see and feel the difference in the weight of these words? Intention carries a lightness while expectation has this seriousness and heaviness. You will notice they both require you to CHOOSE how you will filter your thoughts. Mindset is at the core of both of these definitions.

One more insight before I share how we created ours. Expectation is basically a list of ways you can fail yourself and others (very future and past driven) while intentions create a path of how you want to FEEL while you are staying present  staying in the present moment is the answer to SO MANY of our stressors. 

Ok! So! Before David came home I felt the pressure mounting – because re-entry can be brutal. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies my friends. But we have such a short time I wanted to do my part to set a lovely intention together so there would be more sparkles and less spiderwebs. Lol

Because this is NOT our first rodeo I mentioned several triggers of mine which primarily consist of how different we are: I am a 2 on the enneagram 73% yellow and David is a 1 on the enneagram and 73% red. We are a PERFECT picture of how opposites attract. He is the yin to my yang and I am the cream to his Oreo. Lol

So what that LOOKS like is David comes home to “help” and he spends several hours reorganizing the fridge and cupboards and addressing the kids behavior concerns. It’s hard for me not to take this all VERY personally. I have learned to see this as a way he is wired and I truly know and believe his heart is to serve and help me so I don’t freak out about it as much – but this weekend is not the time to right all the wrongs. Lol

I showed up and said, “I feel the pressure mounting with you coming home. Can I ask for you to really be present with us? Can I ask that you don’t tackle the pictures that are still sitting on the floor and the food shoved into the fridge? The kids are pretty chaotic right now – mid deployment insanity is a real thing folks – but can we decide on the focus being fun and lighthearted while you are home?”

So -we set an intention together: “Let’s enjoy our time together.” Simple – but impactful. It included an emotional word that embodies how we want to FEEL at the end of this weekend. It requires us to look for ways to keep it light and CHOOSE to let some things go while pursuing others.

So far so good! Lots of laughter happening this morning and our hearts are full while our family is complete – even if only for a weekend.