Grieving a Complicated Relationship
I am a little less than a month out from the passing of my biological mom. I am writing this to help with my own processing and if I can help someone along the way who needs these words (which are usually not spoken out loud) or validation - then this will not have been written in vain.
It will be helpful to know that I only lived with my mom for 5 years of my life. From birth to 4 and then from 13 to 14. The rest of that time I only saw her in short bursts. A friend of my mom's sent me this picture shortly after she passed. When I first saw it - I burst into maniacal laughter (which was so like something my mom would do) - it reminded me of a scene in Sweet Home Alabama - "You have a baby - in a bar" only this would read "You have a baby - and a beer". This picture speaks a thousand words. And reinforces an old story I told myself for decades.
The old story I told myself was that she chose drugs, alcohol, and men over me. I told that story on repeat up until 2 years ago...